We all remember exchanging Valentine’s Day cards at school or crafting sweet notes for loved ones — but what if you had the chance to send a not-so-sweet Valentine to someone who pushed your buttons?

In true Victorian fashion, that’s exactly what people did.

Not All Love Notes Were Lovely

Commonly referred to as “Vinegar Valentines” or “Sour Valentines,” these cards offered Victorians a unique way to express disapproval, annoyance, or criticism under the guise of a holiday usually reserved for romance. Far from affectionate, these cards featured unflattering illustrations and sharp-tongued rhymes, often tailored to insult someone’s looks, habits, or social standing.

Victorians didn’t limit Valentine’s Day to declarations of love — they also saw it as a chance to say what they really felt, whether it was a rejection, a jab at someone’s job performance, or just a pointed social critique.

A Postal Frenzy

Valentine cards became commercially available in the mid-to-late 1800s and quickly gained popularity. The trend of sending cards through the mail skyrocketed to such a degree that it overwhelmed post offices — there are even documented accounts of delays and disputes caused by these cheeky missives.

One 1873 account from Godey’s Lady’s Book and Magazine tells of a brawl between two women who had each received a less-than-kind Vinegar Valentine. Accusations flew, bonnets and eyeglasses were knocked askew, and the local post office had quite a scandal on its hands. It was juicy enough to make it into print!

A Few Delightfully Rude Examples

Make Your Own at Our Victorian Galentine’s Event!

Get inspired by this saucy slice of history at our upcoming Victorian Galentine’s & Florals class, led by Museum Manager Chelsea Stewart. We’ll explore the origins of Valentine’s Day traditions, craft Victorian-style cards — sweet or sour — and create beautiful take-home floral arrangements.

Who will you send your Vinegar Valentine to?